


Sweet Serenade

by MissPerla09



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst, Comedy, F/M, Gen, Inspired by She Was Pretty, Music, Romance, idol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22480933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissPerla09/pseuds/MissPerla09
Summary: When he was 16 years old, Hijirikawa Masato was the brightest among the stars. He was blessed with looks, talents, wealth and a saint-like personality. Even Jinguuji Ren, another promising star in Saotome Academy was also intimidated by him. As if falling in love with the same girl, Nanami Haruka from the composition course was not bad enough.Fast-forwarding to 12 years later, who knows his life would be worse than his friends. Ren was a successful idol while Haruka shot to stardom as a high-demand composer. Losing to his inferiority complex, Masato asked his charming but cold friend, Tokiya to pretend to be him but had it become the best or worst choice in his life?Disclaimer: I don't own Uta no Prince Sama. I just own the plot.
Relationships: Hijirikawa Masato/Nanami Haruka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title might be Sweet Serenade but the main character is Masato :D I just had this urge to make him the male lead instead of being the hero's best friend all the time (even I personally thought that he suited to be the best friend more). This story is inspired by Korean Drama, She Was Pretty (I really love the drama!) and maybe a half AU since Ren and Haruka were still an idol and composer respectively. I apologize for the flaws in this chapter since I am not that hardworking to reread and check again and again. Hope you enjoy this story :D 

****Masato**** remembered it like it just happened yesterday.His heart beat faster for every sight of her endearing expression, her soft voice, the way her face blushed when she said those words to him…

Those words that he also had in his mind for years…

It happened on his last day at Saotome Academy. He had to quit his studies due to family reasons which were what his friends were convinced to believe. Everyone was in grief for his departure so it was everyone’s decision to throw a farewell party for him. He was busy spending time with them that he lost contact with a certain pair of orange eyes, casting the sadness and desperation for hoping that he would not leave the school.

“We’re going to miss you, Masato. Please keep in touch with us!”

“It’s a shame. The school is going to lose a charming angel like you!”

“There’s no way we can find such a kind-hearted president like you. We hope you’ll achieve your dream. We can’t wait to see you producing your own songs. You and Haruka.”

He lost in the rain of farewell wishes until he received a message from Haruka.

****‘If you have some time, can I meet you behind Block B after the party?** **

****I have something important to tell you.’** **

He rushed to the spot. When it comes to Haruka, he would take it seriously.

Yet, Masato never thought that it was too serious that it sent his heart to skip a beat.

“The truth is… I am in love with you for quite some time. I know there is no way someone like me can be together with you. You’re amazing, Hijirikawa-san. In every way that you inspired me to be who I am. But, if I don’t tell you, I won’t be in peace. I will regret it.”

It took a while for him to reply. It took a while for him to collect and finalize his thought because…

If he followed this small side of him which he wanted to be selfish once in his life and asked her out, they would be happy like a loving couple.

But as always and predicted, the considerate and selfless side of him was urging him to dump her. With his family issues, he was in no position to think something mushy like love. He was taught since he was small that he would never obtain such a luxury no matter how much he was in love with Haruka.

This best friend of him… He knew if he let her go, she would end up with someone who suited and understood her such as his other best friend, Jinguuji Ren.

That was okay, then. Ren might be a narcissistic man who always gave out cheesy lines to his fans but as much as Masato disapproved of the man’s personality, he believed the man. Once a ladies man like him fell in love, he would be the most perfect and romantic lover for Haruka.

He wished such a thing if Haruka was meant to be with Ren.

“Why would you say someone like you doesn’t suit someone like me? You’re also amazing, Nanami. In every way,” he said, deciding to avert his gaze away from her bright eyes. This was too much. His mouth was dry from the nervousness to blurt out his decision either to dump or date her. “I am glad that I meet a best friend like you.”

He just said the introduction but her cheeks were rosy again, smiling sweetly at him. He balled his hand into a fist since it longed to touch and caress her cheeks for the first and last time. Touching the cheeks would be too affectionate and Masato would never touch her recklessly. She was too precious for him and he was not the man with cheap physical contacts either.

“That’s why… I believe, tomorrow, a day after tomorrow or someday, you’ll find someone as amazing as you. I am not in your league, Nanami. Actually, I am far from it.”

Making her smile or overall happy was his priority. Her happiness made his day so to see her frustration which was concealed by a bitter smile, he never knew that it would literally haunt him for the rest of his life.

Actually, it started to haunt him the moment Ren verbally attacked him in their shared room.

“For someone who is supposed to have know-how about this matter, you’re still acting rude to eavesdrop on us,” Masato commented as soon as Ren interrogated him.

“Is important that I eavesdropped? The most important thing is you broke her heart,” Masato never encountered a very serious Ren so he could not say that he was not intimidated.

Ren was serious for Haruka’s sake so it could be a good sign for both of them.

“I didn’t break her heart. I just wished her to meet someone better than me,” he said, making his hand busy with his packing even though there was literally nothing to be packed.

“That’s the same with breaking her heart, you idiot. You dumped her,” Ren emphasized. “As if suddenly deciding to quit school before telling us earlier isn’t upsetting enough for us. Why would you rub the salt when you know she would have a wound because of you?”

“I have a situation that definitely doesn’t concern you,” Masato said. His tone turned sharp as he glared at his roommate. In this situation where it was impossible to heal his heart after seeing Haruka’s grief, he did not need another person to remind him that he was cruel to the girl. “Instead, you should continue and achieve your dream here. You want to be an idol and sing her songs, right? Then, you should not bother yourself with my situation anymore. I am leaving anyway.”

At that time, staying in the room was no use because Ren might pressure him into confessing just what kind of situation he was in so Masato decided to go out and wander anywhere that his legs would carry him.

* * *

****Fast-forwarding**** to 12 years later, on his birthday, Hijirikawa Masato still repeated the same routine.

Reading every single news about Ren and his new projects. Masato would be one of the first fans who listened to Nanami Haruka’s composed songs while reminiscing about their bittersweet memories.

It was a lot better than spending time in his parents’ house. As much as he still wanted to be a good son to his parents, he had his own breaking point.

“Why you suddenly showed up? Did you change your mind and decide that your rebellion against me is plain stupid?” His father, Masaomi sharply said. Even after years passed and he at least could visit his family unlike before, hoping Masaomi to be an understanding father was a waste for his time and energy.

Even now, there was no sign that he was fully welcomed. No servants in the house were allowed to serve him at least a cup of tea. Obviously, Masaomi planned to spend such a short time for him.

For him who chose to disobey his egoistic father for the first time in his life.

“I…”

 _It’s my birthday today, Dad. I want to celebrate with our family,_ he thought. It was a sincere answer but he doubted his father would listen to him nor appreciate his thoughtfulness.

He even started to believe that his father did not remember his birthday at all.

“I just want to eat Mom’s cooking sometimes,” he said, too flat and awkward. His eyes were anxiously drawn to the door’s direction, waiting for his mother’s presence even he started to wonder if Masaomi approved him to meet her.

“Why? You don’t even have money to buy foods nowadays? How poor are you?” Masaomi scorned.

“I did have money… enough for me to spend.”

“Well, you’ll make more money if you start looking for a proper job and finding ways to beat Jinguuji…”

“Dad…” At last, Masato was tired to be polite and reserved. He spent the whole visit by being afraid that he might get on the old man’s nerves but the same man sure loved to touch his instead. “I thought we’re done talking about this. I don’t want to compete…”

“We’re not just competing. We’re going to crush them, you imbecile!” Masaomi yelled as he bumped his fist to the table. Despite not flinching as he could predict the reaction from the beginning, Masato could feel his throat got dry from being intimidated. His father could not accept the fact that his first son was not interested to inherit his empire so for the nth time, he was exploding.

“I am leaving,” Masato said, walking away instantly without sparing an eye contact with his father. He could not take this kind of tense even he just dropped by. He could not take this kind of vibes and dwell on it at home. His housemate sure would be worried.

“Continue with your incompetence if that’s your choice, you ungrateful son,” Masaomi said as he looked dagger at Masato’s stiff back. “Your life will go up in smoke if you choose to pursue that stupid dream of yours.”

“I did ask you to give me some times but you ignored me, Dad. That’s unfair for me,” Masato remarked before continuing to make his way outside.

 _Another birthday without resolution,_ his heart ached at the thought. He did not even bother to look around to see if he had a chance to bump into his mother. Instead, he continued walking until he found a bus stop. Masato was spaced out, his mind was full of how cold Masaomi was to him. He was never curious about how Masato struggled to make ends meet. He never asked about how Masato’s health was doing. His utmost priority was how to make Masato inherited his company.

So, when Masaomi’s priority was not the one for Masato, he ended up ditching the blue head. Maybe it was a curse for him to disobey his father since after he quit school, nothing in his life went smoothly. It was full of failure, unlike his ex-teachers’ and friends’ prediction.

Now, Hijirikawa Masato was a 28 years-old man with part-time jobs. It was just those part-time jobs that could make him at least more ‘human’ rather than being a downright parasite to his housemate.

His thought was disturbed by the screeching voices from two girls who were also waiting for the bus.

“I can listen to him all day! He sounds so sexy when he chuckles,” one of the girls exclaimed, wearing a pair of pink earphones.

“I know, right!? If his voice alone can melt our hearts, I wonder how he looks like. HAYATO-san must be so handsome,” another girl commented. “He should be a singer instead of only a radio personality. It’s a shame, really.”

Masato just smiled as more pleasant comments from the girls echoed in his ears. Even there was no way that he was the HAYATO who they were besotted with, it was normal for him to hear such words from girls. HAYATO was a radio personality but it was safe to say that his popularity was the same as those idols whom a lot of fans admired because of how open they were with their private life. Idols nowadays had a lot to share and almost nothing to hide from their fans. They exposed their bare faces, their bed hairs, their favorite foods, their family members’ funny stories and many more.

Yet, unlike those idols, HAYATO was admired solely for his sweet-like-honey voice. No one in public knew how he looked like and no one was lucky enough to learn about his background. The only one that connected him and his fans was his voice. He was the personality who most of the time did not need to play a lot of songs. His voice was enough to attract the audience.

Masato bet, if they knew who was HAYATO in real life, they would go crazy about him. Why? It was because he knew how handsome the man was. It was impossible for women to resist him.

But, there was no way HAYATO would expose himself. Masato knew more than everyone that the man hated the crowd. He was the introvert who enjoyed the peace and reading books in his spare time. The only noise he allowed in his world was music which was why he chose the job despite he found it hard to act friendly towards his fans.

Unlike other fans who only knew his voice, Masato knew everything about HAYATO. For example, why the man was absent from his shift tonight and where did he end up instead.

* * *

****“As**** expected, even a lot of times have passed, you’re still the best-looking among us!”

“Hey, can you teach me how to style my hair like yours? It’s so cool. I guess time does change people. Even the prim Masato ends up with spiky hair.”

“Woahh, these muscles… they’re so hard. Are you working out that much?”

It was tiring and annoying to acknowledge and smile at the crowd who just could not leave him alone and shamelessly touch him. If he was himself which was the cold Ichinose Tokiya, he would be blunt and leave the party as soon as possible.

Yet, tonight, he was supposed to be someone else who was so cowardly to show up at the reunion party but thick-skinned and brave enough to convince him to pretend to be him.

Unlike him, the cowardly man was expected to be bright and talkative so he was forced to do so.

 _Just for a few hours,_ Tokiya thought bitterly but his mind was already wandering to his bed, his books and iPod. As much as he wanted to take out his iPod and listen to the music instead of talking and listening to craps, he would not be rude.

 _I’ll make sure you’ll pay me a lot for this, Masato. Not fair and square. You have to pay me more,_ Tokiya thought.

After the long but repetitive chats with those people who he did not remember he ever talked to 12 years ago, Tokiya managed to excuse himself to the toilet. Sitting in one of the stalls, he sighed heavily.

 _Seriously, how dare you made me going through all of these just because you’re a loser,_ he thought before opening his eyes. Chuckles escaped from his lips as another thought crossed his mind.

_Well, I might as well become the loser since I agreed with your plan._

Just before he wanted to open the door, two men were talking as they made their way to the toilet. Yet, the only thing that stopped him from showing himself and leaving was they mentioned Masato in the midst of their talking.

“I told you. He looks different,” one of them said which Tokiya could recall the man’s face instantly given he talked way too loud as if he wanted Hijirikawa Masato to only look at him. “He doesn’t look as smart and prim as I imagined before. That Masato wouldn’t possibly dress up like that, right?”

 _What’s wrong with how I dressed up?_ Tokiya thought as he looked at his appearance from head to toe. A stylish gray shirt and dark blue jeans. The necklace with a rectangle-shaped pendant, bracelets, and rings…

“I know right. Not only that, he looks like he’s just been forced to be here with us. The old Masato we know always smiles and talks a lot.”

“His voice is different too.”

“How about his beauty mark, then? Do you believe he had it removed because of health issues?” 

And the talk went on, much to Tokiya’s frustration.

 _How I wish I am an actor at a time like this,_ he mentally said.

He waited for a while and after making sure that the two gossipers left, Tokiya went out with a deep breath.

_It’s time to pull yourself together, Tokiya. For Masato’s sake._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their paths...

**It** was started with how Masato was panic-stricken to receive an email invitation from his ex-schoolmate. It was his habit to check his email often for job interviews or offers but on that day, he almost smacked himself for logging in.

"Just go then. Do you really have to make such a big fuss?" Tokiya who was watching TV remarked with annoyance. He was wiping the coffee which he had sprayed from his mouth out of shock when Masato suddenly shouted his name. What a way to disturb his breakfast!

"No, I can't possibly go. Not with how I look like and what I am doing," Masato said. "They literally said that if I don't show up, they will find me even in a wormhole and bury me deep inside."

"If clothes are what concern you, I can lend mine. If it's about your job, you can say you're doing freelance works. Just be vague about it so that they won't ask more. Simple, isn't it?" Tokiya suggested. He stood up as he was done with his absurd cleaning session. He might drink his coffee again in peace outside. "If you're done with your 'Oh My Reunion!' hysteria, I will leave first. Good luck with your job hunting and reunion."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Despite his nervousness, Masato was still strong enough to grab Tokiya's sleeve and hold him back. "Please help me, Tokiya. Please!"

"I did say that you can borrow my outfit, right?"

"No, I don't need to borrow anything except your body."

"I told you, I will lend it if I can."

"Your body, mental, and emotions... everything. Please lend them to me."

"Please ask in a language that I can understand."

"Please go to the reunion for me! Please!" This time, Masato released his iron grip which almost made Tokiya toppled. With the way Masato clasped his hands together, it looked like he was praying and Tokiya was the temple.

Tokiya sighed. It was so heavy since if it was not Masato who he faced right now, he would go berserk instead.

"I know talking to you is like talking to a wall but for the 8000times, you're not ugly, Masato. Sure, you're now tacky with that style but with a wide-scaled makeover, you will be more handsome than that Jinguuji Ren. But, seriously, if you're really ugly, it's not like they'll kill you..."

"No, you don't understand, Tokiya. I am a loser so I can't show up there with my current situation. They're all successful. Seriously, why would they organize the party on my birthday when I want to meet my parents..."

"Paraphrase your words. I have to go to work."

"Social experiment!" Masato said with a rare determination since he rarely asked help nor gave Tokiya a hard time. "You said you don't have idea for your upcoming shift, right? Maybe socializing with them tonight will spark an idea. Your listeners are always pleased with whatever you come up every time you mingle with people, right?"

They paused on their spots but Masato knew his negotiation worked out. The way Tokiya grimaced also convinced him.

"Masato..."

"To reach people with facts about people, you should mingle with people. You can't expect to go to zoo and feed some monkeys no matter how bad you're in socializing, right? Right?"

"Oh, my... Did you just casually insult my hobby, Hijirikawa Masato? Do you know how annoying you sound right now?"

"You're in, then," Masato remarked with a bright smile.

It was the first time for Tokiya to make a mutual-agreed deal with someone who ended up making him wanting to kill the other person afterward. Masato did say that he made friends with everyone but it never occurred to Tokiya's mind that the reason why those guys was desperate to meet Masato at the party was the blue head was the most popular student in his school.

Well, Masato might sound so arrogant if he really did say he was popular no matter how noticeable it was.

As soon as just one person noticed Tokiya's presence in the lobby, Tokiya felt like he would rather get hit by a tsunami instead of this 'disturbing' human forms. The squeals became crazier as more people started to gather around him, asking a lot of questions like a bunch of reporters.

As Tokiya predicted, they were asking what Masato, the birthday boy was doing.

That was when he learned more about his housemate. There were a lot of amazing facts about Masato who all this time had a critical self-esteem problem and very timid.

That was why the blue head deserved to be celebrated in the grand party which was held in Saotome Academy.

"To be honest, I have anticipated your debut the most! You were everyone's inspiration so I thought that you would be scouted by those big three agencies," said one of them as they finally settled down from blowing-the-candles session and squeals which took all for Tokiya to cover his ears and lash out at them for being too loud.

"No, things changed and I don't think I want to debut," Tokiya said, lazily holding a glass of wine. He would not take a risk to drink even a sip. It would be the end for him since his alcohol tolerance was downright low.

 _So, he's the star in his batch, huh? What happened to him? What made him turned into who he is?_ The blue head thought.

Tokiya knew he was an expert in being a wet blanket or at least, to indirectly tell people not to ask more. He was familiar with this kind of situation so unlike others who froze at his coldness, he was proud of himself for being able to dodge more questions.

After coming back from the toilet which was the only place he could calm himself down, he immediately called Masato

* * *

 **Going** back to Tokiya's house would be empty and boring so Masato mindlessly rode a bus, straight to Saotome Academy which was where the reunion party was held. Standing in front of the gate, his heart ached and thumped fast at the same time.

This academy... it was the best place which held the best spot in his heart and life. He enjoyed every single day where their schedules were full with singing courses, pair works and group assignments. He did not have time to be upset about how skeptical his father was to the career path that he chose because everyone and everything was amazing for him.

Even his intense rivalry with Ren had become a pleasant memory for him. He would trade anything if it would take him to his past.

It was also the witness of how he was able to keep spending his moments with Haruka. He was already in the academy, walking past the extravagant garden but his mind wandered to a scene from a different place.

* * *

 **The** first time they met was a week before the entrance exam of Saotome Academy. He just fought with his father about his decision to study performance art. He requested to go out alone without his father's servants so he wandered particularly nowhere in the town.

That was when he could hear a girl's voice from a playground. Despite singing together with a group of kids, his ears were particularly charmed by the orange-haired girl's voice who seemed to lead the kids with her arms raised like a conductor.

Masato was generally stiff with girls. He was raised conservatively where he saw how his father and mother were not really affectionate to each other. He also studied in all-boys school. But, Haruka had bloomed something strange but pleasant in his chest that he spent almost no second to greet her right after she was done with the singing while the children slowly dispersed.

"I lend a help sometimes in the nursery school. A good way to spend my free time," she said when she saw how he was awkward to extend their conversation.

Of course Masato would feel right away because he literally approached her and said something sudden like, "your voice when singing the star song is nice. You sing well. No... what I mean is... You... your singing has a... a heart? Wait, how should I put it?"

Generally speaking, everyone was good in singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star since it was literally everyone's childhood song but Haruka immediately saved him from falling into the hole of the deepest embarrassment in his life by smiling and not judging him at all.

As if Haruka knew him too well to be able to tell that his words did not mean to be literally translated into how it sounded.

"I am sorry for greeting you out of nowhere. Come to think of it, you must think that I am creepy for coming to see you like this. I am so sorry," he said, bowing as he faced her on the bench. "I'll leave first if you don't feel comfortable..."

He swore he could hear her voice calling him but he ignored her. He should not be mesmerized by some stranger's sweet voice. He had a lot on his plate including his father's disapproval so he should not be sitting around casually, talking about cheesy things like the heart of songs as.

Little did he know, she was not just a stranger. She ended up being the only girl he loved until now.

But, there was Jinguuji Ren on her side...

* * *

 **Haruka** opened her eyes. She was alone in the lobby, being nervous about how the reunion party would end up tonight before eventually leading her to reminisce the old memory of her first meeting with Masato. His hands were holding a dark purple paper bag which contained a present for the man.

It was wonderful. It was far more wonderful than what currently happened. She did not even know where the man was. Actually, no one knew.

"Can you hang out with us tonight, Jinguuji-san? It won't be fun without you," she could hear a whiny voice of a female idol as the sounds of shoes approached her.

"Yes. It'll be an honor for us if a top idol like Jinguuji Ren can spend time with us. We promise it'll be fun," the other girl in a short red dress remarked.

That was when Ren and the two girls who shamelessly clung to him showed up from other alley.

"I am sorry, girls. I have a plan... oh, Haruka!" Ren's cool demeanor was taken off as soon he spotted the composer. The cyan eyes were always bright every time they met Haruka which had become the subject of jealousy among his fans. Without sparing any more glance to the girls nor concerning their reaction, he bowed to his beloved girl with a charming smile. "I am sorry for being late. They extended the shooting because of camera problems."

"That's okay," the surprised Haruka quickly stood from her seat, wondering which one she should do. Lightly lifting Ren's shoulders so that he could stand properly or letting him stand straight on his own because for sure, both actions would cause a rage from the girls. "I have just done with the meeting too."

"Then, should we go now?" Ren said, carefully holding her hand so that they would head to his car together. Then only he turned to the annoyed girls. "See you later then. Bye."

Haruka fixed her gaze to the outside view of their agency building. Even it was dark from the night view, it was still much better than the possible rage from Ren's fans.

She was so sick of it. She did not even date him but she had to face hatred from his nonsensical fans.

Just like how she faced Masato's during their school days.

Ah, that guy. She could not wait to see him again. Earlier, she had insisted that she could go to the reunion alone if Ren could not make it but the scion refused. He said it was better for them to go together since they worked in the same place on that day. Haruka attended a meeting regarding a CF promotional song while Ren was shooting a reality show featuring his daily life. Plus, he was worried about her safety.

It was just how the man showed how much he cared about her and Haruka was not a stranger to it. She would be more comfortable if it was not because of Ren's toxic fans.

"So, how are you feeling?" Ren asked as they were in his car, riding in comfortable silence. "I bet you're nervous, right?"

"Yes... since I am not popular like you. I don't have friends apart from you, Tomo-chan and..."

"It's okay. Masato will be there. I had confirmed it with the guys," Ren said with a reassuring smile.

"Really?" She sure could not conceal her happiness. Her eyes sized up before realizing that she was ecstatic. "I mean... how they..."

"He still used his old email and he did reply that he would come to the reunion party," Ren said. "I bet he already solved whatever that caused him to quit school drastically so he should be fine."

 _I hope so. I am worried sick about him,_ Haruka thought.

* * *

 **Masato** was brought back to reality when his phone rang in his pocket.

"Hello, Tokiya. Is everything okay?"

He should know from the start that was the most idiotic question to begin with.

"Okay, my foot. Why it is so tiring to be you even only for one night, huh? You never said that you're this popular!" Masato guessed that Tokiya was covering his voice so that no one could eavesdrop on him.

Masato burst out his laughter since that was the first time. So, that was how the hopeless and helpless Tokiya would sound. It was not bad. Rather, it was better than the always uptight Tokiya.

"You're really having fun on your own, aren't you?"

"Sorry, sorry. Well, I don't know how to answer your statement regarding the popular thingy," he said, scratching his head. Before he knew it, Masato was already at the side of the hall, being separated from the glamorous bunch of people including his friend by a glass wall. The blue eyes' sized up as he could recognize them one by one. All of them looked stunning and luxuriously dressed-up. As expected from those students from 12 years ago who ended up pursuing their studies or careers in a showbiz.

"Forget that. I think you should come over. They threw the party tonight to celebrate your birthday, dude!"

"What?" Masato's eyes turned to where a five tiers chocolate cake was put, at the middle of the hall. "You mean, that tall cake is for me?"

"Yes! Wait, how do you know they prepared that kind of cake? Where are you?"

Masato did not answer Tokiya. In fact, he could not answer the man since his eyes were diverted to how people around him were staring at him in disgust.

Yes, they were disgusted by his appearance. His dirt-stained white long-sleeves shirt with a pair of dull jeans. His black cheap glasses made him look much older while the scars over his face from the car accident he had suffered from years ago sure would creep them out.

Of course they would find him creepy, pathetic, horrifying and...

Ah, the anxiety. It flowed in his veins yet again. He could not stand the way they looked at them anymore. It was too much for someone who had gone through a lot like him.

"Masato, what are you doing here? Come, come! There is a creepy guy out there."

His thought was right. They found him creepy, enough from the voice that he heard from his phone as he was still talking to Tokiya.

"What? Where?" Tokiya asked back.

Masato moved from the place right away as soon as Tokiya tried to look everywhere to search for the 'creepy guy'. He was ashamed. He did not want Tokiya to see how pathetic he was in front of his friends.

Of course they would feel disgusted by him. He was out of their league now. He was nobody.

As he walked fast, ignoring the friendly security guard he had met, he could feel and hear a car hit his legs, followed by a loud break sound. Masato collapsed on the ground. He could feel his knees were in a pain on the road.

_Shit! Can you get any unluckier, Masato?_

"Oh, my... are you okay?" A strangely familiar sweet voice crossed his hearing.

"Mister, are you okay? You should not cross dangerously like that. I could hit you worse!"

And also the half-scolding voice... he recognized it since he always listened to the guy's songs whenever he had a free time.

_Haruka and Ren... it's them, right?_

"Sir, do you hurt yourself? Should we help you?" Haruka's voice echoed back when there was no response from the victim.

_Yes, it was them._

Yet, if his intuition was wrong, he did not intend to reveal who he was. It was better for him to leave the place as soon as possible and act like he never attended.

"I am okay," he said, trying to sound different before leaving the spot with a limp.

However, Haruka was not easy to give up. As she touched his hand to stop him, the warm feeling which his system had longed for so much occurred again.

He missed the girl so much.

"But, you don't look good, sir. You're limping," she said.

"That's okay," realizing that he should not be here longer, he lifted her hand, shaking his head as his gaze was still on the ground. "I was the one who crossed mindlessly. You don't need to help me for my stupidity."

After that, he limped as fast as he could before he managed to caught a taxi. He never turned to his back, looking at his friends once more.

_Why do I feel like this, Haruka? I am glad to see you but I am also sad. Or is it because of a shame for being a pathetic loser like this?_

_But I know why I avoid you, Ren. I am pathetic. Unlike you._

* * *

**"What?** He just left?" Ren exclaimed. His face turned stern from the disappointment as he was so eager to see his long-lost friend. He turned to Haruka who also could not conceal her disappointment. "Why? At least you should have convinced him to stay until both of us arrived. I didn't plan this reunion just to find out later that my best fried had left as soon as I am here."

"I don't know, dude. He suddenly got angry when I asked him to avoid a suspicious-looking guy from the wall," Ren's friend said, pointing at a glass wall where he saw the tacky but real Masato. 

"We did convince him to stay for you and Haruka but he just brushed us off. That Masato is really weird," the second friend said. "And rude when we held this party for his birthday."

Ren turned to Haruka. "I am sorry, Haruka."

"No, please don't be, Jinguuji-san. It's not even your fault," Haruka said, surprised at the man's unexpected apology. Ren's voice was so gentle which sent her guilt too.

While both the friends gave each other a look that suggested, 'As expected, he has a soft spot for this girl' and, 'I know right?'.

"So, how is he doing?" Haruka said carefully. At least if she could not meet Masato, she had to know about the man's well-being.

"He's weird," the first friend said, shrugging. "He didn't talk much and I bet he doesn't remember all of us."

"What do you mean?" Ren said back, earning nods from the guys. "How come?"

"He might be a bit suspicious when he suddenly quit school back then but I never thought someone likeable and sainted like Masato would forget us easily."

"He looked so absent-minded when we reminisced those happy and silly moments. But, I must say that he has become so stylish and hot. His voice is very nice. He will be a good singer with that voice."

"But he said he's just doing some freelance works. He never told us spesifically. Is that weird, Ren? No one would be the top student in idol course so that he could waste his talent and do some freelance work."

Ren's heart ached. It did because how frustrating it was when their paths with Masato's did not even cross since 12 years ago and now his friends told him the not-so-satisfying news.

_What're you thinking you're doing, Hijirikawa? Just what happened to you? Do you forget me and Haruka as well? Why can't you stay until you meet us?_

As for Haruka, no words could describe how she felt. The paper bag she had in her hands was held tightly.

_I guess I lost a chance to give him this tonight. How can I possibly reach him then?_

"Did any of you guys ask for his phone number?" Ren asked.

"Nope. Yamada did but he refused."

That again, earning a heavy sigh from Ren. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hesitate to tell me what do you think about this chapter, okay? Byee :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did he disappear?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the pandemic was supposed to give more reasons for me to write faster given I’ve spent more time at home but I admitted I was distracted. Any Alice Nine fans here? Because I’ve binged on listening to their songs, watching their old variety shows and interviews on Youtube. Yup, I spent more free time on Youtube just to watch the only JROCK band that I have been fangirling since a long time ago. I love rock songs and theirs happen to suit my taste very well so my writer's head has been spontaneously planning fanfictions for them before realizing that fanfictions with real humans are way different so I will just make myself a writer only for Utapri fanfictions.
> 
> So back to this story, the motivation is still there but recently, I have this doubt that I should put Otoya as the male lead instead of Masato before realizing that putting Otoya against Ren in this love triangle doesn’t sound right to me. If it’s against Tokiya, it will be okay since in the canon universe, they both do treat each other like rivals even it’s less tense than Masato and Ren. So, we’ll still proceed with Masato since one of my original intention for this story to make Masato as the male lead.

****After**** a series of unfortunate events, Masato went back home with his head still aching despondently when he was supposed to be happy on his birthday. After plastering his bruised knees, his eyes were only for his small bed. He ended up sprawling and spacing out without changing his clothes.

****_“Sir, do you hurt yourself? Should we help you?”_ ** **

****_“But, you don’t look good, sir. You’re limping.”_ ** **

_Haruka…_ his heart whispered the name as soon as her voice ricocheted in his mind.

It was nice… to listen to her concerned voice again even she did not recognize him.

As for Ren, he did not bother to get nostalgic about anything. He never despised the guy. Ren was not guilty of Masato’s current state but seeing the guy would remind the blue head how hopeless he was.

After that, he could hear the sound of Tokiya opening the door given Masato did not bother to fully close his bedroom door. Considering the heavy sighs, his aloof friend must be tired of socializing and desperately needed me-time.

This was why in the next minutes, all Masato had guts to do from his bedroom was peeking at his friend who was lazing on the couch with his closed eyes. He was deadly curious but Tokiya’s mood was the first thing that he needed to take account of before ambushing the man with questions about the reunion.

_I think I will just go to take a drink and if he says something then only I will…_

“If you want to ask what happened, just come here already, won’t you?” Tokiya said weakly. They did not even know each other for too long but Tokiya always amazed Masato with his ability to read or guess what the man was up to despite still closing his eyes. Well, Tokiya did remark that Masato was like an open book. “Unless you want to spend your entire night over there.”

_Okay, he’s in a good mood,_ Masato mentally decided. _He is always grumpy so if he still can talk like that, normally it means he’s not that moody._

“Okay, then,” Masato switched off the lamp before slowly taking his seat. He grimaced as the bruises on his knees reacted to his sudden movement which sent Tokiya to open his eyes and frown.

“What’s the matter?” The man sat up straight before his eyes were brought to the sight of Masato’s plastered knees. “Another mishap?”

“I… I was hit by a car. I wasn’t careful enough,” as Masato anxiously lowered his jeans to cover his knees, he still could feel Tokiya’s eyes were on him.

He knew he would be in trouble.

“Where did you get hit?”

“Huh? It’s…”

“You did go to the academy after all, right?”

“What?” The two pairs of blue eyes looked at each other. The first pair was with sudden horror while the second one was with skepticism.

“Or else, you wouldn’t know what kind of cake they prepared for your birthday.”

Masato gasped while his mind did not take even a second late to bring him back to the reason how Tokiya caught him right away.

****_“Forget that. I think you should come over. They threw the party tonight to celebrate your birthday, dude!”_ ** **

****_“What? You mean, that tall cake is for me?”_ ** **

****_“The tall cake is for me?”_ ** **

****_“The tall cake…”_ ** **

Masato was not a screamer. He was not that dramatic no matter how insane or absurd his life had turned into but somehow, he could imagine himself screaming in horror just because of the ‘tall cake’ phrase which was repeated three times in his head.

So much for going to the party surreptitiously…

Masato lowered his head. He had no excuses to blurt out and if he did have, he was sure that none of them would convince Tokiya.

For the nth time, he cursed himself for being stupid. He got hit by a car because he was too stupid to not turn left and right first before crossing the road. He was stupid because he gave himself away. He was stupid in everything.

“You even injured your knees because of the reunion. Those guys must be a bunch of good friends for you to go this far despite already sending a substitute, right?” Tokiya said, leaning back on the couch. Masato did not look comfortable with his question so he would let it slide if the man remained quiet.

“Yes, they are,” Masato said as a bitter smile spread over his lips.

‘I don’t think so, though. They just treat you like you’re a loser unless you do singing or acting,’ was what Tokiya almost said but he would keep it solely to himself. At this rate, he sympathized with Masato’s already scanty self-esteem more. He sure would be sadder if Tokiya told him every single comment from those guys who Masato called as his friends.

He was waiting for Masato to tell him some stories about his days in the academy but considering how lifeless his eyes looked, the first son of Hijirikawa family must be spaced out again.

_Man, here he goes… He looks like a soldier’s wife who is still waiting for her husband to come back alive from a world war._

“How did the party go?” Masato asked carefully.

“Well, it’s a nice party. There are many glamorous people over there. For sure, they’ll make you lose your self-esteem ever more and that’s the last thing that I want to happen for you. You’re already annoying when you’re in your current state.”

That made him silent. Too long that Tokiya started to feel uncomfortable.

“So, you’re the star in your batch, huh? Quite surprising,” was what Tokiya ended up saying after spending his ride from Saotome Academy with a determination to bombard Masato with questions and complaints. As an unwilling substitute, he should go this much. He thought that was his right after being ‘used’ like that.

Masato shook his head. His blank look was still there and he had no idea how it took all for Tokiya not to strangle him. As if the reunion was not depressing enough.

“Well, I can’t say that I am the star but…”

“What happened to you after you left the academy? Why did you disappear and keep hiding from your friends?” The calm tone changed swiftly into the scarily curious one which made Masato flinched.

Staring contest between them lasted for a while before Masato eyeing his housemate with a wary look.

“Well… if I don’t answer it, are you going to decide that it’s the time for me to pay my rent or you’ll kick me out?”

“Why would you give me those kinds of ideas when those are what you’re scared the most? You barely make ends meet,” Tokiya rose from his lazy position. This kind of conversation would drag them to nowhere since Masato had the tendency to be a stuttering mess while beating around the bush and Tokiya currently did not have the patience and energy for such a thing. “Don’t worry. I won’t be that low. Come to think of it, I don’t even reveal my personal background much to you either so in this case, I won’t ask more than I should anymore. I am sorry about that. Just forget that I even said anything.”

Tokiya left too fast for Masato to react, let alone to thank the guy.

One thing for sure, Tokiya just reminded both of them that they would not push the other person to talk about their personal background until they were ready.

Even they were housemates for four years, he did not know too much about Tokiya other than they were the same age, the man’s job and what those trivial things that he learned every single day wherever they were together.

* * *

****One**** of them was even most of the neighborhood’s residents was middle-aged couples’ families, the mothers and daughters were Tokiya’s fans. They complimented every single thing about him, save for his stand-offish and brusque personalities because they were blinded by his physical attraction to bother with his flaws.

Those fans always managed to annoy Tokiya to the point of he did not bother to be rude. As for Masato who was raised like the most polite person in the world, he never understood how Tokiya had the nerve to show his aloofness.

For example, Tokiya would wear his earphones every morning before they went to their workplace.

“Hi, Ichinose-kun, Hijirikawa-kun,” their neighbor which was a young lady and a university student greeted them first as she was hanging her laundry.

Or to be exact, Tokiya was ignoring those fans by wearing his earphones right after being greeted.

“Hi,” Masato replied as he wore his shoes. He knew it would be useless to expect Tokiya to greet back but every single day, he wished that Tokiya would at least have a conscience to be polite to their neighbors.

Plus, it was clear that the girl who they called Yui-san was interested in Tokiya. At least, that was what Masato noticed since he moved in.

“Are you both going to work?” Yui said, secretly eyeing Tokiya who always looked charming and fashionable. The housemates looked like familiar content in a fashion magazine; the one with before and after models.

“Yes. Do you have classes today? You look… fresh,” Masato said back as he could spot how adorable Yui looked with her make-up. Before he could nudge Tokiya to stop pretending to listen to music, the blue head was already heading to his car.

“No, the morning classes got canceled…”

‘Oh, so why are you wearing make-up? Are you going to somewhere after this?’ was what Masato intended to say but something occurred to him.

_Ah, I see… She wants to look pretty for Tokiya. Come to think of it, she would wear it every time she sent us food…_

“Masato, hurry up! Aren’t you afraid of your boss?” Tokiya said loudly from his car as he frowned. 

“I am sorry, Yui-san. We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Why does he seem like he is always angry with me?” Yui asked softly which made Masato’s heart sinking. The voice was soft because she could not conceal her disappointment any longer.

“What? No, he doesn’t. Tokiya is always grumpy whenever he has to work in the morning. He’s not a morning person,” the answer was ridiculous but Masato could not help it.

“I see. Anyway, what does he do for a living? He looks stylish and rich.”

“Well, I can’t say that…”

“Masato, hurry up!” This time, the sudden and deafening sound of the horn almost made Masato and Yui jumped from their spots.

With the small but fast waves, Masato scurried to Tokiya’s car before taking his seat. His housemate pushed the pedal, did not even spare a glance to their neighbor who ended up smiling at Masato who immediately returned the gesture.

As soon as the car left the neighborhood, Tokiya hastily took off his earphone.

“I guess you’re not listening to music at all.”

“No, I am not. I’ll spend the whole day playing music, I might as well keeping myself away from it just before I work, right?” Now they were far away from Yui, Tokiya became talkative again as Masato expected.

“Then, why did you wear it…”

“Pretending to listen to music is much better than listening to flies, mosquitoes… you know what I mean, right?”

“No, I don’t,” Masato said instantly. With his blank look, it looked like he was ready to say ‘no’ for every single of Tokiya’s remark.

“Thought so,” Tokiya said with melodious chuckles.

_What’s with the chuckles? I didn’t even make anything funny,_ Masato thought. He spared a few seconds staring at the scenery of the town before he decided that he should tell Tokiya something that had clouded his head.

“You know what? I don’t mean to lecture you but if you at least talk like how you normally talk, Yui-san won’t think that you’re angry with her. Plus, you sound so friendly when you’re on-air,” Masato said. “It doesn’t cost you anything if you greet her back. I am afraid that she might think you’re haughty when in fact, you’re a warm person.”

“Me? A warm person?”

“Yes, you’re.”

“Which part?”

“All of you when you’re not around everyone else.”

“Wait, what are we even talking about?”

“Yui-san or the neighbor just in case you don’t remember her name.”

“Why? Did she say I am angry with her?” Tokiya said. His tone was still sarcastic even he was playfully chuckling. This was the first time the girl had managed to catch his interest but Masato did not find it interesting. “She’s mistaken. I am not only angry with her.”

“What? What do you mean?”

The silence from his housemate was suffocating even it only took a few seconds.

“You know what, Masato? I don’t mean to lecture you but except for your poor wardrobe and self-esteem, you have a very good personality. Like a saint.”

“What? Me? Which part?”

“All of you when you’re around everyone.”

This had become their daily routine. Every time they argued, they ended up criticizing while complimenting each other.

“I guess I am getting stupid each day. I can’t seem to understand you…”

“My point is,” Tokiya raised his voice as he turned the wheel to the right, “A person like you have to maintain that angel-like personality since it’s safe to say our world is getting old and more people are getting greedy, desperate and stuff. So, you don’t have to know there are moments where a girl can be vile with her words or stab you in the back.”

“What? Does it mean Yui-san is…”

“I didn’t say that. It’s just a general remark,” Tokiya cut him short. “Just remain kind-hearted as you’re will be better.”

Masato frowned more but Tokiya did not blame him. His words were confusing at times because he was avoiding telling some painful truths to Masato.

Despite they became silent after that, it was not awkward. No matter how cold Tokiya was with everyone, it did not emit the same aura for Masato. The silence was comfortable because they would end up talking about music since they discovered that they had shared the same interest.

They arrived at Masato’s workplace which was an expensive café with a cheap salary. As always, his pretentious colleagues and employer were already waiting at the entrance door.

Or to be exact, they were waiting for chances to greet or wave at Tokiya, not Masato who was the actual employee who had been working the hardest but had never received compliments.

Considering how Tokiya never spared a glance at them while always wearing a ‘stone cold’ demeanor, the fact that they just developed the hobby of stalking the man was bound to happen.

Masato knew what would happen next.

“It’s nice to see how well those people are treating you. They are even ready to greet you from the entrance,” Tokiya said with a meaningful smile as Masato went out of the car.

“I know, right? For the first time since I graduated, this is the most comfortable workplace for me. Everyone is nice to me,” he said as cheerful as possible.

_I know you’re implying something else,_ they both said mentally to each other.

“Don’t work too hard. Your knees are still injured.”

“Okay. Thank you for giving me a ride,” Masato said as he closed the door, followed by Tokiya’s nods.

_He’s not even my brother but I get worried every time I send him to his workplace. It seems like he’ll attract all troubles in the world,_ Tokiya thought as he drove away.

“Good morning, everyone,” when his chummy greeting did not receive the same response from anyone who decided to disperse and go back to treat him worse than a wall, Masato made his way to his usual spot in the kitchen.

“You…” his boss, a man in his mid-30s quickly interrogated him with a glare before Masato could touch his apron. “Is it only ‘good morning’ that you are able to say every morning?”

For other people who had no idea about the working environment of the café might think that the boss, Yoshi was insane to scold his employee for saying ‘good morning’ in the morning but it was a different case for Masato and his colleagues. They knew what Yoshi had in his mind for the whole day.

“I… I already asked him but apparently he is not interested in working here,” Masato said, referring to Tokiya. “He is a busy man.”

“You can just ask him to be part-time instead, Hijirikawa. Or you can even ask him to replace you for two weeks. It’s not like you’re skillful in anything anyway. Why are you being so dumb that you can’t even think of that? Do you even need me to teach you from A to Z? You can even say I’ll pay him a lot more…”

“But you do say that the minimum wage is…”

“That’s only applied to you, you deadweight! You’re ‘cheap’, unlike him. Just imagine how many customers we’ll get if he works here,” Yoshi said as he smacked Masato’s head. “Geez, I shouldn’t get my hope high when it comes to you.”

“I am sorry.”

“I don’t need your sorry. Instead,” the man who was a lot more muscular than Masato hugging his shoulders while looking around. He looked like he was about to ask Masato to be his partner in crime. “Tell me. What job does your friend have? Is he a model or an aspiring actor?”

“I am sorry. I can’t tell you that.”

“What? Don’t be like that. I am your boss. It’s okay if you just tell me,” the hug around his shoulders was loosened which immediately indicated that he would pay for his answer which was intended to protect his friend’s secret.

“It’s his secret. I can’t tell you,” Masato said.

From the way Yoshi clicked his tongue while looking dagger at him, Masato knew today would not turn out good either.

_I guess it’s another bad day with bad knees, Tokiya,_ he thought bitterly.

* * *

****“You**** must be disappointed, right? I know how long you have been anticipating a moment like this,” Shibuya Tomochika said, searching for other emotions other than a calm demeanor from her best friend, Haruka. She just went back from overseas for her CF shooting and could not join the reunion so she might as well listen to the story from Haruka’s perspective.

They might only know each other since their academy days but it felt like they had been childhood friends like Masato and Ren. They had great chemistry. They went everywhere together. They could talk to each other for hours without getting bored. They were opposite but only they knew what made them stayed in their friendship and continued to support each other.

As much as they supported each other to pursue their dreams, Tomochika had also been Haruka’s best cheerleader when it comes to her friendship with Masato. She knew the composer had gone through hard times and the big reason was Haruka was a plain girl but had a chance to become the handsome Masato’s close friend. Everyone in the academy could see that they both were too comfortable with each other to the point of it did not matter if this world only had both of them.

It was also clear to Tomochika that they loved each other. Masato’s eyes were full of affection when they had Haruka in their sight and as for the girl, she would shine like a sun every time Masato was around.

That was why, right now, the idol was expecting Haruka to at least tell her how frustrated she was when she could not meet the long-lost man on the reunion night which happened to be his birthday.

It did not make sense for a warm-hearted guy like Masato to leave the academy just like that but what her friends from her batch told her was beyond bewildering.

“He’s freaking hot, Tomo! It feels like the traditional Masato already disappeared and like… like a hot ghost just possessed him!”

“I am not saying that the high school Masato is not gorgeous but the adult he is ‘searing’ hot! Even… yeah, he got a cold attitude.”

“It’s a shame that Nanami and Jinguuji-san could not make it. Hijirikawa-san left so early since he got into a fight with the guys.”

It was ridiculous in so many ways. Time and places did change somebody’s politeness, she guessed. Screw his hotness and his candid pictures which her friends had forced her to look at! What mattered the most was that Masato should at least wait a little longer to meet Haruka and Ren. They both were his best friends anyway.

“He might have his own reason,” Haruka commented softly.

_That doesn’t change the fact that you do miss him,_ Tomochika thought. She looked around her friend’s spacious house and as expected, the pictures of Haruka, Masato, Tomochika, and Ren in the same frame were still at the same spot; on a piano which was obvious that Haruka might treat it like her muse.

“Do you still love him, Haruka?” Being sudden and direct was the only and best option. With the way the orange eyes suddenly sized up and the darker tone of red over the cute face, Haruka would be anyone’s easiest book to read.

“What… why so sudden, Tomo? And who are you talking about?”

“You can’t call it sudden, honey. We are talking about Masato so we might as well talk about your feeling to him. Is it still in your heart? Obviously we’re not talking about Jinguuji-san. You don’t seem like you’re interested in him at all. I mean… not more than a friend.”

Haruka sighed which was quickly understood by Tomochika that she just added more twists in the composer’s head by including Ren in the conversation.

“I know you’re tired of how those Jinguuji-san’s fans kept harassing you but nobody says that you cannot give him a chance at all. Just look at him. Nobody can imagine that spoiled brat finally changed into a heart-throb. When the ladies’ man changed into a devoted man, everybody could tell that it’s all because of you. While it must be sweet to keep holding the memory of your first love, you should pay attention to those who’re always there for you as well, Haruka. Can you remember any second of your life when Jinguuji-san suddenly abandons you? Not even a second, right?”

She knew it. When Haruka pursed her lips, it meant she did realize the truth in Tomochika’s remark without anyone had to make her do so.

“But I don’t think we’re in the position where we can talk about something like that. He’s an idol, Tomo,” Haruka said. “His future will be determined by his fans. I don’t want to be the worst person in his life.”

“I bet he will sacrifice anything no matter how worst it might be,” Tomochika emphasized, leaning forward in order to stare through the composer’s eyes. “Come on, Haruka. You should know by now that there are a lot of differences between being humble and just a critically low self-esteem. You can’t see why Ren and Masato, the north and south who always fought about everything ended up liking you. Obviously you have something special in you.”

“And they’re also special to me, Tomo. They’re so special that I don’t want to break or ruin them. I want them to be the happiest person in the world and I want to share it. I admit that it’s quite disappointing when if it’s not because of those candid pictures, I can’t even see the adult him. I just want to know how he’s doing because he disappeared for so long. I just want to know is everything okay or is he struggling…”

“Meaning to say…” A knowing smile crept over Tomochika’s beautiful face. “You love him but the fact is not that important. You just want to know either he is doing fine or not.”

The gesture was slowly returned.

“Yes, Tomo. Thank you for being understanding.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have anything to say, feel free to drop a comment. Thank you for reading :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holding back for her sake...

****In**** the showbiz, Haruka was a star composer who was sought-after for her music.

That was what everyone could sum up when it comes to her talent but the composer found it hard to believe. She never thought that she would achieve the level given where did she come from. She was sent to her grandmother to live in a rural area since she was young due to her poor health. The house did not even have a television so most of the time, she relied on the piano lesson with her grandmother as her entertainment and hobby. She never learned how to read music back then since she did so by ear. She never thought that it would cause problems until she passed the entrance exam and became the student of Saotome Academy.

Being a naïve girl who just wanted to study music and compose her own, she was bashed by her classmates for being unable to read music but still passed the exam. For this hindrance, despite she felt miserable at first, Tomochika, Masato and Ren (despite he was a lazy bone himself back then), they suggested her the obvious solutions which she had to pay no heed to others’ critics and prove them that she could read music like everyone else if she learned and worked hard for it.

It was a forever solution unless she hit her head which caused her to forget how to read music. No one criticized her for the reason anymore, especially when she achieved the highest score for all tests and her excellence continued for her career. Well, that was all she was supposed to aim and achieve. As much as she never dreamed of fame, she was thrilled that her music could touch the people’s hearts.

Yet, with her close relationship with popular students like Ren and Masato back then, she could not sit still and instead unwillingly serve as a threat to the men’s fans. Even after Masato disappeared from their life, she still had a lot on her plate, thanks to Ren’s crazy fans. She could swear to God that she treated the man like how she treated Tomochika but they always reacted like she would launch a missile to the world. Almost every day, she could not go working without being waylaid by those ‘queen bees’.

The worst part was unlike when she was criticized for her inability to read music, this nuisance had no solution that would bring a total peace for her life. It was impossible for her to slap everyone who badmouthed her.

At last, they reminded Haruka of those titans from an anime who attacked a pitiful squad leader who could not escape anywhere due to his injured legs. The silly part of her brain even imagined that Ren would end up being mutilated into two parts of body like the squad leader.

_Stop imagining things, Haruka. You shouldn’t join Tomo-chan watching the anime if you’re going to be like this,_ she shook her head while she still making her way to a meeting room.

“You.”

As soon as Haruka dragged herself back to reality, she was unwillingly served by the sight of one of those ‘queen bees’ which made her music-esque life upside down. The composer was positive that their popularity had made them believed they were good enough to rudely interrogate her about her relationship with Ren.

On top of that, today she was meant to bump into Hoshikage Seira, an actress who was dubbed ‘the other half’ for Ren. Their dramas, films, and CFs would always win the hearts and charts but it did nothing for the man. Unlike Seira who was besotted and always grabbed any chance to ask him out, the man always gave calm but clear reactions that he thought nothing affectionate about her.

Since then, both Haruka and Ren knew what to expect when the stuck-up Seira got rejected more than once. No matter how much the composer wanted to hide and brush it off, the sharp Ren always somehow ended up being her knight in shining armor. Still, Haruka could not expect the man who barely got a few hours to sleep per week to always come to her rescue.

“Yes?” Haruka replied with a smile.

She gained some ‘survival guidelines’ from Tomochika after the idol heard a lot of episodes of Ren’s fans from the composer. One of them was acting calm but austere was way more effective than being too reserved or outspoken. No need to be extreme because those fans could turn her reactions into her next nightmare. They could play victim for any harsh words from her or they could bully her for being compliant.

Seira was making her way elegantly with her manager towards Haruka. Her tight brown dress and leopard-print coat fit her slender figure perfectly but with the way she abruptly blocked Haruka’s way while her blue eyes spoke smugness, she reminded Haruka of an old leopard which was proud of herself that finally, she had met someone to butcher.

“Seira-san, we’re going to be late…” Seira’s manager, Futaba spoke up but Seira lifted her hand, instructing the girl to zip her mouth.

“I just want to ask her something. Mind your own business, won’t you?” she shot a glare at the girl before turning to Haruka. “You heard her, right? I am going to be late for shooting so I want you to answer me quickly. Where did you go with Jinguuji-san last night?”

“Good morning, Hoshikage-san, Futaba-san,” Haruka said instead, bowing politely which Futaba returned on the spot. Haruka’s mind was busy pondering on how none of Seira’s words made any sense.

Even her order for her manager which was ‘mind her own business’ was so wrong in so many levels. How on earth an actress could use all her intelligence to order her own manager to mind her own business when it was clearly Futaba’s job to ensure that she would not cause any more trouble that would jeopardize not only her career but also Futaba’s?

The next sets of words from Seira were also laughable. She ordered Haruka to answer her question about Ren’s personal life which had nothing to do with her own. Apparently, she had this mindset that when she was a prominent actress, she could order people around as if she was an empress and other people were her servants.

When in fact, she also worked to pay bills. That did not sound any different from other workers in this world.

‘Don’t waste your time and energy for someone like her. It won’t benefit you anything other than dark songs. I don’t want my friend end up composing more stressful songs because of a scum like her’ remark from Tomochika suddenly echoed in her ears.

_I will, Tomo-chan. I wish I don’t have to face these people too._

“I don’t need your ‘good morning’, honey. Just answer my question instead. Where did you go with Jinguuji-san last night? You know that he was supposed to enjoy a post-party with us, right?” Seira insisted, arms folded over her chest.

“Did you already ask him but he refused to answer it?” Haruka answered back. All she did with Ren was having dinner since if she did not insist to eat with him, who knows if he would really eat properly or starve himself again for his works.

Still, if Ren disapproved Seira’s attention towards him, Haruka would respect it. She would not answer Seira’s question.

“What?”

“Please answer me. Did you already ask him?”

“You…”

“If Jinguuji-san refused, I don’t see why I should tell you about something that he refused to let you know. It’s about his personal life and…”

“His personal life, my foot. Did you just act up to me? Do you think you’re that close to him that you got a nerve…”

“Yes, she’s close to me. She’s my best friend,” a familiar voice which was always silky for Haruka interposed, which grabbing the women’s attention right away.

“Jinguuji-san…” just like that, the ‘old leopard’ tried her best way to look like an innocent cat. Her eyes suddenly shone to see her beloved man.

After that, Haruka knew what to expect. Seira would be in her dramatic queen mode and Ren who later would say how it took all for him not to insult or clobber the woman in public.

* * *

****It**** was different this time. Ren did not even bother to whine about how their president, Shining Saotome always advised him about treating Seira nicely since any harsh words or tense relationship between them would cause unnecessary scandals and shortcomings for Ren’s career. The president sure did know how to use Ren’s passion for his career and image to stop any objections from the man. Seira was a very popular actress with a strong agency to back her so it would be tough if Ren acted impatiently.

Even it was for the sake of Haruka and Seira was already known as the Queen of Scandals, it would do nothing good for Ren, the sweet composer, and the agency.

Instead, after they sat together after Haruka’s meeting and Ren’s script reading session to have a lunch break together, Ren shifted his attention to other things.

“If it’s not because of the president’s warning, I would not be that lenient to her. I am sorry that you have to go through the trouble, Haruka. You must be thinking about a new song arrangement when she suddenly interrogated you…”

“Wow, how do you know? It’s always impressive how you always can guess what I am up to,” stopping herself from drinking the fresh orange while stopping himself from being apologetic, Haruka raised her head. Orange eyes sized up at another pair of light blue eyes.

A comment from Ren’s close friend who was also an idol, Kurusu Syo spoke back in his head.

****_That Nanami… as much as I can tell that she’s dense, you also hold the responsibility, Ren. What are you waiting for instead of confessing to her? You never told me but just like other people, I can see how much you love her. She’ll always be confused if you continue to be vague._ ** **

_That’s a comment from someone who never knew why I can’t confess my feeling to her. It’s never easy, Ochibi-chan. It’s never when you know whom she has always had her eyes for…_

“Jinguuji-san? Jinguuji-san?”As soon as her warm hand shook his arm on the table, he was dragged from his thought. “Are you alright? What’s with the look every time I ask you something? Is there anything bothering you? Is it about your work?”

He could hear the girl clearly. Even she talked too fast which indicated that she was worried about him, he could catch her questions word by word. But, with the way her concerned voice sounded pleasantly in his ears, with how near she was sitting and the fact that they were spending time together for their lunch break despite people around them were watching them (probably wondering if they really started dating each other or not), Ren could not help but be enchanted by the sight of her.

As an ex-ladies’ man, he never thought that one day, a girl named Nanami Haruka would make him captivated just by her sole presence. She was definitely nothing special when it comes to her looks but it was not surprising for him when he sensed that Masato grew to love her. Haruka’s personality was admirable and her music was amazing which was most probably why Masato found her attractive. Knowing that Haruka was his close friend’s first love, Ren was interested to know what kind of girl she was. He acted like he teased Masato by always hanging out with them since it was always his hobby to annoy the heck of his roommate but deep inside of his heart, he wanted to learn about Haruka so that he knew, Masato fell for a right person.

But, at last, Ren was hit on his face with the truth that he took a liking for her from the very beginning. She stole his heart the moment the first time they met; on the day of their entrance exam. They had a proper conversation after he saved her from being chased away by the guards for being late. He was impressed by how she was still willing to help a lost girl despite she had to attend an entrance exam.

Now, even he knew and supported Masato’s and Haruka’s love towards each other, he still had regret in his heart. If only the old him who always judged girls based on their looks did not ponder on how it was impossible for him to love a plain girl like Haruka before realizing it way too late, their relationship might be different. He might have a chance to win her heart given Masato did not show any sign that he would show up again in their lives other than on the reunion night.

_I like looking at you because I love you and I am always curious about you, Haruka. I am holding back a lot because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but…_

_I still can tease you at times, right? You look so cute when you’re flustered._

“You’re important to me and that’s why I am looking at you. I am always curious about you, Haruka. That’s why I know a lot about you and I can tell what you’re thinking,” at last, his brain decided to paraphrase his sincere thought and leave the ‘I love you’ part. This time, he agreed with Syo. He had always been vague and that was why Haruka could not totally read his mind.

“I know a lot about you and I am curious about you too, Jinguuji-san. We’ve known each other for too long anyway,” she remarked as her eyes turned bright and her lips crack a breath-taking smile at the thought of how they had shared a lot of memories together. She did not have any idea how such simple and innocent gestures would make the handsome man’s heart skip a beat. “Including how you have become so stern whenever you are working.”

This time, she pouted at her remark which sent Ren chuckling.

_You don’t have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now, Haruka. Even in a public place like this, I don’t care. I really want to declare to everyone that a special girl had won my heart and that girl is you._

“You should loosen up a bit, Jinguuji-san. It’ll be not good for your health,” she said softly. “I know the make-up always does a good job to cover your tiredness but whenever you are busy, I can’t stop myself from worrying about you. Syo-kun even said that you never eat properly whenever you work for long hours. Do you want me to make you a bento every day? I don’t want you to starve yourself anymore.”

Her sincere remarks had made him the happiest man in the world at the moment. Even when the waiter sent their orders and his loving smile had made the waiter and people around them curious about their conversation, Ren could not care less. What mattered was he was somebody important in Haruka’s life and the composer herself admitted it.

_Pull yourself together, Ren. Don’t start imagining how it would be if you marry her and she prepares you a bento every single day. That’s far-fetched for a coward like you,_ he thought.

“No, it’s okay. I will find ways somehow so that I will eat properly and not get sick,” Ren said, eyes glued to his pasta as he grabbed the fork.

“If I insist?” Her lovely voice echoed again and this time, Ren lifted his head and look at her with an unreadable expression.

“Haruka…”

“Yes? Why?”

“Please don’t be that caring when you aren’t going to give your heart to me. Trust me, it’ll be hard for me.”

Ren knew what to expect but it was too late for him to take back his words. The girl opposite him froze on her spot, clearly shocked at the sudden confession.

“Jinguuji-san...”

Okay, he did not want to ruin the mood any longer. He would be a serious Ren right after their lunch break since he had to monitor his junior’s training, so he should loosen up when he was around his beloved girl.

“I was joking,” closing their distance a bit, he winked at her which almost made her lost her breath.

“That’s mean, Jinguuji-san!” she rubbed her chest in relief despite her exclamation. She knew how mischievous this guy could be but she always ended up falling for his jokes or pranks.

“Sorry, but I can’t help it. You’re too cute when you’re flustered,” he said before finally tasting his pasta. “It’s always been like this. You’re so innocent, Haruka.”

Having nothing to say since his claim about her being too innocent was true, she pouted again as she grabbed her fork. Relishing the taste of udon, the sight of Ren’s bright smile had brightened her heart. It was her turn to become mesmerized by his smile.

Even Ren was the same flamboyant guy who she had known since their days in Saotome Academy every time they were around each other, she knew how his personality would flip once he was working. He would become too strict that no juniors would dare to work with him.

She wondered if he had changed because he tried to distract himself from the fact that Masato disappeared from their life for so long. Frankly speaking, she missed the old Ren. The fun-loving guy who always cheered her up and encouraged her to always move forward and enjoy her life despite all criticism she had endured from her haters.

She knew, given the current situation, it was the time for her to return the favor.

* * *

****_“Why are you behaving like he’s a celebrity or something? You really don’t want to tell me what’s your friend doing for a living, huh? You know how I normally don’t beg people but people do beg me for jobs. If your friend already shows me how stuck-up he is even you claim that he’s just being secretive, I must say I should fire you as well, Hijirikawa-kun. You don’t contribute anything to this café anyway. Just so you know, you were supposed to take this chance to make yourself useful!”_ ** **

****_You don’t contribute anything._ ** **

It was the same line that Masato’s father used to blurt out at him.

So, that was how his job for the nth time ended. Often, the reasons were too ridiculous to be true.

He had no time to wonder why he was tested this much after his father disowned him when suddenly, Tokiya’s annoyed voice hit his ears, followed by a pillow thrown to his face.

“You’re spaced out again!? I mean, again!?” Tokiya who was standing right opposite him while resting his hands on his hips sounded and looked forbidding, much to Masato’s puzzlement.

_Oh…_

Now, he could put two and two together. He was just too depressed after he lost his job so his head was busy pitying himself and thinking about his future. But now, with how angry Tokiya looked, he knew what to expect.

“You’re making me talking by myself for the nth time, dude. What the heck is wrong with you?” Tokiya made himself seated before pushing a soft drink on the table towards Masato’s direction. “Drink this or I will clobber you.”

“Thank you,” forming a tiny smile for the caring gesture from his housemate despite his nagging, Masato took a sip. “Did you talk about something? I am sorry for being spaced out. There are a lot of things…”

“Did you just get fired?” Tokiya interposed right away, probably before Masato got spaced out again which eventually would send him flip his lid.

“Yes,” Masato said, almost instantly. Now he knew how Tokiya was worried about him while he himself was no longer as upset as before, telling the truth was the best option.

Tokiya heaved a long sigh. “Finally, you answered me after I took the whole day, right after I caught you editing your resume at the cybercafe, along the ride until we’re at home. I thought that your boss and colleagues have grown fond of you.”

Masato cracked a bitter smile whenever the situation happened which Tokiya grew to hate it since he had seen it a lot. The smile showed how unfair the situations had treated his housemate when he knew how hard he worked to survive on his own. “I smelled something bad. Did he use an absurd reason again to fire you?”

“What do you mean ‘again’? He fired me because my work has ended and the original waiter finally returned from her long break,” he said. There was no way he would say that Tokiya’s secret had contributed to the end of his job. Tokiya would go berserk and he did not want the man turned into a criminal because of him.

“Really?” Tokiya practiced his typical method which was looking daggers at Masato but this time, the scion was determined not to fall for his ‘trap’. “Or do you have something that you want to talk about?”

“It’s okay. I was just a temporary waiter. It appeared that I forgot they needed me only for a month,” Masato said.

“Okay, then. It’s an acceptable reason after I found you in the town when you’re supposed to work,” Tokiya remarked as he stood and made his way to his room. “Just use my laptop if you want to edit your resume or something. Don’t worry. A nice and hardworking person like you will find a better job soon.”

“Okay, thanks,” Masato said slowly as he stared at his soft drink.

With Masato’s back facing him, Tokiya stared at the depressed frame sadly.

_He’s really a nice and hardworking person but his surroundings always treat him unfairly. I wonder why… His bad lucks have always been out of nowhere, even when he’d done nothing…_

The men’s fate had always been the opposite. Tokiya never had a problem when it comes to job-seeking. Instead, it seemed to other people that jobs sought after him instead. Even at this moment, he was supposed to tell Masato that his first novel manuscript was accepted. The man was the only one who knew that he had tried to be a novelist so it was bound for him to tell the man first.

But with how miserable the mood had become, he lost his will to carry on their conversation which was why he left the man on his own. When Masato did not talk much, it showed that he was too tired emotionally. He needed me-time to heal.

Instead, his head was recalling those insults that Masato never knew that Tokiya had kept to himself all this time.

It was obvious that Masato was way better in terms of personality. Just took their neighbor, Yui as the example of how not everyone would appreciate those who were compassionate. When Yui’s parents were not at home and left the girl alone at their house due to a family emergency, Masato cooked for three days for her when it took all for Tokiya not to yell at the girl so that she would learn to cook instead of shamelessly accepting food from Masato. His housemate treated the girl like his younger sister and the man completely shut him up when he said, he already lost his own sister forever so he just wanted to be a good brother once in a while.

But, this was how Yui paid him which Tokiya happened to hear when she was talking on the phone with her friend, outside of her house.

****_“I am sorry but he looks like a mad man. The way he stutters and says weird things about music… it creeps me out. Sure, Ichinose-kun is cold but I think I love a man when he knows how to make himself hot. Not the one who makes me disgusted and want to puke.”_ ** **

He swore he could not forgive the girl. At least not for the time being.

And also those people at the reunion party who Masato claimed as his friends. They insulted him as soon as they caught Masato standing outside the hall.

****_“Is that your friend, Yamada? He looks crazy.”_ ** **

****_“No way in hell! How on earth did the geezer allow a beggar inside our castle? This is humiliating!”_ ** **

****_“Should we report to the police? I bet he is here because he’s hungry or something. He kept looking at the cake.”_ ** **

It was chaos after that since Tokiya immediately grabbed a dude’s collar who just happened to badmouth Masato at that time. The others were panicky to see the sudden scene. As he could not stand the fake atmosphere fulfilled with the classy people, he immediately scurried his way to the main door, never turned back even when a few of them begged him to wait for Ren and Haruka.

“You can send some messages to that Nanami-san as well if you want. You forgot to log out last time,” Tokiya remarked, sending Masato to flinch. Obviously, he was spaced out again and thought Tokiya was already in his bedroom.

Masato just nodded weakly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thought if you have any, okay? Byeee :D 


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